The following contents is 100% totally true. Who else would write this shit?

Mike loves chocolate chip cookies. The Nestle Toll House kind.

Mike eats his shrimp fried rice usually without vegetables and extra soy sauce.

Mike has seen all the Friday the 13th and Nightmare On Elm Street movies.

Mike has met legends in the wrestling business. From Bret Hart to Jerry Lawler.

Mike is left-handed, but plays a right-handed guitar.

Mike's all time favorite cartoon is Rocko's Modern Life.

Mike thinks Carlos Mencia was funnier before he had the TV show.

Although he loves his Irish heritage, Mike is a big fan of Japanese culture and the art of tranquility.

Mike needs 8-10 hours of sleep to be at his best.

Mike has been intimate with women much older than him.

Mike's all-time favorite concert is a tie between Ozzfest 2005 and Rob Zombie with special guests Anthrax.

Mike's all time favorite show is Married...With Children.

Mike is a junkie for anything from the 1990's, including R&B music, and before Usher hit it big.

Mike took such great care of his long hair in high school, female classmates used to hate him out of jealousy.

Mike would fall asleep in study hall and wake up with box braids.

Mike is Karaoke-junkie.

Mike performed Pantera's "Cemetary Gates" as a tribute to Dimebag Darrell in an auditorium full of 600 people for his senior year talent show.

Mike's formal wear includes a double breasted suit jacket with a black shirt and red tie.

Mike owns two studded bracelets, five rings, one watch, and three necklaces.

Mike's favorite console is the SNES.

Mike's favorite soda is Cherry Coke.

Mike smokes Newport 100's and Djarum Specials.

Mike has taken a huge liking to Asian women. Namely Lucy Liu.

Mike thinks the third Mortal Kombat movie will never be released. He also thinks the next Street Fighter movie will suck ass.

Mike is in pre-production working on a Street Fighter-inspired script that involves Cartoon likenesses of the characters with live action humans. No word on a pilot episode script.

Mike's favorite fruit juice is Apple.

Mike prefers Snapple to Lipton.

Mike loves to get massaged.

Mike's strongest part of his body is his back.

Mike can flex into a bridge onto the floor and have the back of his head touch his shoulder blades.

Mike's favorite restaurants include Applebee's, White Castle, Taco Bell, and Red Lobster.

That's enough for now.