Carrot Glace's Punch-Out
(We begin our story with our sorcerer-slaying heroes the Sorcerer Hunters as they enjoy a rare day off. Carrot Glace, his group's de facto leader, takes this time to play one of his favorite old-school Nintendo games, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out)
Carrot: Man I love MTPO! I only wish I was in the game myself.
Gateau: Like YOU can ever beat Mike. C'mon Carrot, even in a game, Tyson's hard to beat. You know the odds of you beating Tyson are a million to one?
Carrot: Your point being…
Marron: You can't beat him brother.
Carrot: Need I remind you my dear little brother that I got to Tyson when I played this as a kid.
Marron: I remember that. You lost easily & you nearly destroyed the Nintendo.
Gateau: Talk about issues.
Tira: What are you guys arguing about?
Marron: About whether Carrot can beat Mike Tyson in Punch-Out.
Tira: Oh yeah I remember when…
Carrot: OK Tira. Don't remind me no more. I just wish I could go into the game & see what it'd feel like to face Tyson.
Chocolate: I'd like to see you beat Tyson, darling; even if it's in a game.
Carrot: Thanks for the encouragement Chocolate.
Chocolate: And maybe after you beat Tyson, I could give you a special post-match rubdown? (Bats her eyes lovingly at Carrot)
Carrot: (uneasy) Uh… yeah sure Chocolate.
(All of a sudden, the 5 Sorcerer Hunters were sucked into the TV in particular, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. Carrot assumed the role of the game's pint-sized protagonist Little Mac. Not only that, instead of having Doc Louis as his corner man, Carrot had Marron & Gateau at his side while the Misu Sisters sat out in the audience cheering Carrot on. Carrot had to battle his way through all 3 of the WVBA circuits; taking on & knocking out opponents from the weak Frenchman Glass Joe to the rotund King Hippo to nigh-unstoppable fighters like Bald Bull, Mr. Sandman, & Super Macho Man. Now came time for Carrot to face his greatest challenge since his childhood, Iron Mike Tyson.)
Tira: Wow I almost forgot how good Carrot was at this. It's incredible.
Chocolate: I hear ya Tira. Darling's certainly in the zone. I'm so gonna screw him when it's all over.
Tira: What's that?
Chocolate: Nothing Tira.
(Back in the ring, Marron & Gateau were preparing Carrot for his fight against Tyson)
Carrot: Well guys, this is it. This is what I've so long & hard for.
Marron: Remember brother; stay clear of Tyson's punches as much as possible.
Gateau: Marron's right. One punch can take you out.
Carrot: Thanks for the reminder. (Goes to the center of the ring to face Tyson)
Tyson: Y'know Carrot, I respect what you had to face in order to fight me. But now the question is: can you handle all this Brooklyn fury that I'm gonna unleash on you?
Carrot: Hell yeah.
(As the bell rung to start the 1st round, Tyson wasted no time in unleashing that fury. As the rounds went on, to his credit Carrot stood strong & was able to land some punches of his own on the Heavyweight champ. But in the 5th round, Tyson attacked swiftly & mercilessly and landed a vicious combo on Carrot.)
Gateau: Carrot!
Marron: Brother!
Tira: Carrot's down!
Chocolate: Get up Darling!
Tyson: See Carrot; what'd I say about my fury bitch? You can't touch me you little muthafucka!
(As Carrot was down & as the ref counted to 10, Carrot heard all the voices of his friends telling him to get up. He got up at the count of 8, shook himself off & went back to go at Tyson)
Carrot: Hey Tyson, I didn't hear no bell.
Tyson: So you got up for more huh? Let's see if I can put an end to that.
(But as Tyson started his attack, Carrot dodged all that Tyson had to offer and managed to land a powerful combo of his own. Carrot topped off his combo with an ultra-powerful uppercut that dropped Tyson for the 10-count. When the fight was over, Carrot finally conquered his childhood nightmare & Gateau, Marron, Tira, & Chocolate all got into the ring and celebrated with him)
Carrot: I won! I won! In your face Tyson!
Marron: Excellent job brother. You've conquered your past.
Carrot: No Marron; WE conquered it.
Gateau: Either way Carrot, you stood strong and firm. Guess I was wrong 'bout not lasting a minute after the 1st round.
Tira: You were awesome Carrot; just awesome in the ring! And here I thought you'd come out on a stretch… (Chocolate throws herself at Carrot)
Chocolate: Oh Darling I was so worried that you wouldn't make it back to me alive!
Carrot: Watch the squeezeplay Chocolate. My body aches all over after all them fights.
Tyson: Carrot, I just wanna say that you gave me a Hell of a fight tonight. You finally beat me & I'm man enough to admit it.
Carrot: Thanks Mike.
Tyson: Hey c'mere; I got something I wanna tell ya.
Carrot: What? (Carrot goes over & Tyson bites his left ear) OUCH!! What the Hell Mike?!
(Mike laughs at his infamous act of cannibalism and as this happens, our 5 Sorcerer Hunters are soon transported back to their world.)
Carrot: Hey, I'm not in pain & my ear's whole
Tira: Maybe that was only an effect in the game.
Carrot: Either way I'm glad I finally beat Tyson & that we're all back home safe. Now I only wish I had a woman to come home to.
Chocolate: (seductively) Oh Darling…
Tira: (angry) Chocolate don't you dare!
Marron: Now Tira; calm down.
Tira: How can I? You know how Chocolate is with Carrot.
Carrot: This is why I'm gettin' outta here.
Chocolate: Come back here Darling! I just wanna give you that "rubdown"!
Carrot: I'll take a rain check Chocolate!
Chocolate: I see you still wanna play Hard to Get, don't you Darling? I'll catch you and give you all the love you desire.
Carrot: (in his mind) No offense Chocolate but I'd rather get my ass beat by Tyson.
Chocolate: Darling, I love you! I want you! I need you!
(Chocolate finally captured Carrot & as usual smothered him amorously much to his horror. Chocolate also kissed all over him)
Marron: I think it's best we leave these 2 alone & Gateau, don't get any ideas.
Gateau: Aw. Oh well you're right.
Tira: Get off of him sis!
Chocolate: (purring sexy) Oh Darling.
Carrot: Somebody kill me right now!
Rest in Peace DeShaun Holton (Proof from D12); Rest in Peace Chris Benoit & your family.
The End