Akuma, Evil Ryu, Balrog, Vega, Sagat, and M.Bison’s joint worst nightmare

Akuma, Evil Ryu, Balrog, Vega, Sagat and M.Bison all arrived at Dhalsim's temple. They weren’t together; it’s just that Dhalsim had been pissing off all six of them with his heebie-jeebies magic lately. They entered the huge gold empty temple to be greeted by a crossed-legged levitating Dhalsim inside.

"We have finally found you Dhalsim!!!" Akuma boomed.

"I take it you lot stole my elephants???" Dhalsim said. " You people are evil, it’s lonely and echoey in here without them. They used to cheer for me but now there’ gone!!!"

"Wait a sec, what makes you think WE stole your elephants?" Bison inquired.

"Who else would be evil enough to slaughter them, leaving bloody trails in my temple huh?"

They all turned to Vega

"Hehehe…" he muttered nervously. "HEY! I was hungry…" he said nervously

"Damn, you must have been REALLY hungry to eat 6 elephants raw" Balrog commented.

"Gross" is all Evil Ryu said

"ENOUGH CHATTER" M. Bison bellowed. "Let’s destroy the voodoo witchie…"

"YAH…." They all screamed as they flew towards Dhalsim.

But he had a trick up his sleeve. Throwing some purple dust in their way they all immediately fell over unconscious.

And here’s where their nightmare began…

All 6 of them were laying in a misty field, hills only gray outlines in the background…they heard a booming voice…


"Huh…wha?…" Balrog said


"Wait…are we dead or something?" Balrog asked.

"NOOOO….I’M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!!!" Vega screamed as he went into a fit.

Evil Ryu snorted at that statement…"young my arse…" he said under his breath.

That’s when the studio lights came up, and the director behind the camera yelled "CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE NOW? WE ARE TRYING TO WORK!!!!"

All 6 fighters them promptly moved their butts.

2 fighters walked onto the set, one in a white gi and a red bandana, another in shorts and eye patch.

" Hey, that looks like 2 people dressed like Ryu and Sagat" Evil Ryu said.

"Yeah…"Sagat muttered as the lights dimmed


At this point, the Ryu-dressed guy pulled out a feather pillow and began hitting the Sagat-dressed fellow with it, in which he responded by falling to his knees, and groveling to the other guy to stop.

"WHAT THE F…" Sagat yelled "THAT NEVER HAPPENED!!!" the director stopped the scene and ordered the security guards with stun guns to "escort" the men outta the studio.

As they were pushed out the front door of the studio they noticed there were 4 other studios. There were lots of people walking around and before anyone knew what was happening Akuma had disappeared. The other 5 fighters looked around.

"Where the hell has he gone?" Evil Ryu asked.

" I dunno. Let’s have a look in studio 4" Bison said.

They entered studio 4.

This studio was used for making children’s programs.

4 happy faced kids were sitting on the Barney playground set, waiting for Barney. Couple of minutes later the sound manager was pushing a reluctant Barney onto the set.


Gasps came from the little kids.

" Oh don’t act so innocent, we know what you little brats are like in real life," yelled Evil Ryu-to which all the kids nodded.

Barney, aka Akuma shook his fists as he stumbled onto the set.


All the kids gazed up at Barney, looking like little angels.

Silence followed, that and that rolling hay thingy you see on westerns rolling across the set.

One of the little kids piped " are you gonna sing us a song Barney???"

"What the f-? NO I AM NOT, I AM EVIL DEMON AKUMA, I WILL SCARE YOU WITH MY RAGING DEMON ATTACK!!!!!" he said shaking his fists.

The other 5 fighters behind the camera crew cracked up into fits of laughter.

The children formed a ring around Barney/Akuma and began to sing. It was then the tweenies arrived on the set for the tweenie/Barney collaboration.

They also started singing.

Akuma had had enough of all this which was when he decided to execute his raging demon.

And this was where another nightmare developed.

He couldn’t.

And he stared crying.

The other 5 just laughed louder and louder until Evil Ryu pipped-

"Wait a sec, if he can’t fight, does that mean none of us can either?"

All the fighters looked worried and try to execute some moves

"Tiger knee…"


And etc. (I can’t remember all of them) they also started crying and balling and going into fits as they realized none of them could fight.

The little obnoxious kids on the Barney set who can’t act to save their life started hugging Barney, to which Barney/Akuma tried to shake them off. The film crew stopped filming, and this was when the little kids got their chance…to raise hell. The little "butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth" kids turned on their violent streak and began beating up Barney/Akuma. Keeping his head low he ran out of the building with the other 5 following him up. Akuma ripped off the suit and started screaming…

"THOSE F****** KIDS, THOSE F****** SUITS, I HATE CHILDRENS SHOWS!!!!" just then a group of gay crewmen came up to them and grabbed Sagat’s arm

"OH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN DARRRLLLLLING? We have been looking all over for you…your group are waiting sweetie…" to which the rest of the group looked in awe as Sagat was dragged off to studio 1…the music video studio…