*A small, blonde woman sat in the general's office with her extremely long hair up and tucked under her hat, which was part of her uniform in the British military. She was nervous because she was paged just moments ago to report to the office immediately. She was the #1 officer in her special forces unit. *
Cammy: "What seems to be the problem, sir?"
General: "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, Major White. You have been a more than useful asset to our unit."
Cammy: "Well, what is it? Last I knew, I was head of the unit."
General: "This is true, which is why your discharge will be honorable."
Cammy: "Discharge?? I don't quite follow........"
General: "We're going to have to let you go, Major White. I will miss you, as I'm sure the rest of this unit will. It's out of our hands. The orders come from much higher on the food chain and I'm afraid we can't do anything more."
Cammy: "Sir, will you at least give me some sort of clue as to what I have done? Look, I can cut my hair if it is a problem..........."
General: "I wish it was simply a matter of hair, but it is much more serious. It's very hard to tell you this. I'm quite fond of you, Cammy and I've never seen such potential in an officer before."
Cammy: "General, you used my first name!! This must be serious. I'm a tough little lass, I can handle it."
General: "Well, it's been known for a while that you ........ Ummmmmm .... ...... er ...... I mean ........... It's.............."
Cammy: "It's because I'm gay, isn't it?"
General: "I'm sorry, Cammy."
*Meanwhile at New York General hospital, a tall, beautiful brunette was lying on her hospital bed. She had just undergone knee surgery after damaging cartilage in a Karate tournament. She dialed the number to speak to her boss at Interpol.*
Chun-Li: "Hi, chief."
Chief: "You sound like hell! What happened this time, master of disaster?"
Chun-Li: "I busted my knee, chief. I can't do more than paperwork for at least 3 months."
Chief: "Are you sure? Did you have it checked out?"
Chun-Li: "I'm lying in a hospital bed, pissing in a bed pan. What do you think?"
Chief: "What did they say?"
Chun-Li: "I just got off the operating table. 3 months with a cane and physical therapy. I fought David Wang in the tournament. It was tied, then he did a spinning sweep while I was doing a handspring. He caught my ankle and threw me off balance. Next thing I knew, I was on a stretcher headed for NY General."
Chief: "Xiang, remember what I said last time? we can't afford to keep paying you when you're crippled."
Chun-Li: "But Chief, I can do paperwork!"
Chief: "We have enough mindless drones typing away in cubicles around here. Xiang, I gotta let you go. I asked you a thousand times to give up Karate and you refused. I'm sorry. You were our best agent. Your father would be proud. I'll write you the best recommendation I've ever written."
Chun-Li: "Bye" (hangs up)
Nurse: "Time for your medicine!"
Chun-Li: "Got any Prozac?"
*2 weeks later, Chun-Li was released from the hospital. Around the same time, Cammy moved to New York City and was hoping to find a job in "The Land of Opportunity". Chun-Li was grocery shopping. She was on her way to her beat up 79 Chevy Nova, which was parked on the sidewalk. With a full bag of groceries in one arm and a cane in her other hand, she slowly made her way to the car. Meanwhile, Cammy was down the street buying a new pair of boots when she realized that she had left her wallet in her hotel room. She left the boots at the register and ran to get her money. Without looking where she was going, she ran into several people before running into and knocking over the crippled Chun-Li*
Cammy: (realizing that her victim had a cane) "Oh, I'm terribly sorry!!!" (turns to help her up)
Chun-Li: "Who the hell do you think....(looks up to see Cammy's face) YOU!!!!!!!" (gets up)
Cammy: "Oh, bloody hell, it's YOU!!!" (remembering her narrow defeat by Chun-Li in Street Fighter 2, Cammy's short temper erupted, sending her fist into Chun-Li's perfect pretty face, nearly having to jump to reach)
Chun-Li: "You little bitch!!!! you wanna get tough!!!!!" (throws down her cane into her spilled groceries, uppercuts Cammy, then tries to throw a sidekick and falls on her ass, wincing in pain)
Cammy: "What's the matter? Did somebody finally put the mighty whore out of business?"
Chun-Li: "Shut up and get me my purse!"
Cammy: (retrieves the purse)
Chun-Li: (pops her pain relievers) "Damnit! I lost $50 worth of groceries!"
Cammy: "Get up"
Chun-Li: (Tries to get up, but falls back down. By now, everyone was staring)
Cammy: (begins to help her up)
Chun-Li: "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!! (waves her arms around frantically) I CAN DO IT MYSELF!!!!"
Cammy: "Bloody psycho!!! Let me help you up, gimpy. You're not getting anywhere sitting in your spinach." (helps Chun-Li up and picks up her groceries)
Chun-Li: "What the hell is the matter with you anyway? First you knock me on my ass and then you blast me in the jaw! I'd hate to see how you treat handicapped citizens that you don't hate!"
Cammy: "Strongest woman in the world!! I got robbed of the title by THIS?" (waves Chun-Li's cane in the air)
Chun-Li: "Give me that! (grabs cane) Lucky if I don't shove this up your blond British ass!! I forgot I even had this thing."
Cammy: "Talk about ME knocking you on your ass! you seem to do a fine job of doing that yourself."
Chun-Li: "What the hell are you doing here? Go back to your own goddamn country!"
Cammy: "You haven't changed a bit. You still have that same bug up your ass! Pop a bloody Midol and get over it! I'm looking for a job here."
Chun-Li: "What happened to Ms. Military?"
Cammy: "I dropped out. I'm broadening my horizons. Still working in Interpol?"
Chun-Li: "Because of this (shakes her cane) I'm unemployed. Not that it's any of YOUR business."
Cammy: "That's what you get."
Chun-Li: "I didn't deserve this!"
Cammy: "You didn't deserve the title of strongest woman in the world, either."
Chun-Li: "Listen, munchkin! I'm stronger than you! Well, I was.........."
Cammy: "Rubbish. You won through pure luck! One more hit and you would've been down for the count! You and your cheap lightning kick!"
Chun-Li: "That's life, sister. Sit and bitch about it or move on! Obviously, you chose to sit and bitch about it and you look pretty stupid right now! Let bygones be bygones. Sign into the next tournament and take the title from Sakura."
Cammy: "I'm through with the tournaments. Listen, I have to go. I have a life to live."
Chun-Li: "That makes two of us." (heads toward her car with groceries)
Cammy: "Bye, mate! Hope we never do this again!"
Chun-Li: "That's the beauty of this city. (closes the car door & rolls down the dirty window) The chances of us seeing each other again are slim to none. "
Cammy: (turns and walks toward the hotel) "I bloody hope so!"