Chun-Li: Ok, this is the living room and through that doorway to the left is the kitchen. Down the hallway, the shitter is the first door on the left and your room is the second. The first on the right is my room and in the right corner is the chillin room with the computer, Playstation, and other fun shit. Keep the mess to a minimum, keep the noise down, and no towels on the bathroom floor. Got it?

Ming: I got it. Do I have any chores?

Chun-Li: Just clean up after yourself. Do your own laundry, pick up your wrappers and dirty dishes, and keep your room decent.

Ming: Ok, that's easy.

Chun-Li: Alright, let's go shopping.

**Chun-Li took Ming to the mall and basically bought her a replica of her own wardrobe. There were tight, stretchy shirts that either bared midriff or cleavage or both. Ming was not nearly as busty as Chun-Li, so the cleavage took a trip to Victoria's Secret to buy the bra's and panties that one would swear were designed my mechanical engineers. She bought tight jeans, dress pants, and shorts, short skirts, and most of the shoes had big heels on them, much like Chun-Li's. She bought some makeup, hair products, and handbags. Ming would look great.**

Chun-Li: There, you're gonna look all nice and pretty.

Ming: (pulls out a skimpy red thong) I don't know if I'm comfortable with some of this stuff. I mean, this is like a constant wedgie!

Chun-Li: They're more comfortable than normal underwear. You'll love them. Now the wax is going to sting a little bit...

Ming: Do I have to wax my whole entire body?

Chun-Li: Yes. Nobody likes a gorilla.

Ming: America is weird.

Chun-Li: We may be fat and stupid, but we aren't furry.

Ming: You're all huge except Cammy and Guy.

Chun-Li: Are you saying I'm FAT????

Ming: No, I mean you're all tall.

Chun-Li: Wait till we go to Chinatown. You'll fit right in.

**Chun-Li pulled up to the office. She locked Ming's new clothes in the trunk and walked up the stairs to the office. Cammy and Guy were sitting at the computer, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.**

Chun-Li: Are you looking up porn again?

Cammy: Chun-Li, come look at this!!

**Chun-Li walked over to the computer to see a Shadowloo website. Her jaw dropped to the floor**

Guy: The URL was freerifle.com. When it popped up, it was Shadowloo!!

Chun-Li: Why are they still going??? I put them AWAY!!!! How is this possible?

Cammy: You never actually KILLED Bison. Until he's dead, I don't think this will ever be over.

Chun-Li: All my hard work has gone to shit!! Where is he now?

Guy: He's in China somewhere.

Chun-Li: Uhhh, that's a little general, don't you think?

Guy: What do you want? I looked all over the site.

Chun-Li: I'll never have peace from this assmunch.

Ming: That's the guy who killed your father, right? (looks at the monitor) The one with the butt chin?

Chun-Li: Yeah, the ugly fuck who won't leave your sister alone. I swear, he is the dumbest criminal ever. First, he stole my father, then, he held my kitchen sink hostage, and last year, he broke into my apartment and took a container of cream cheese and sent me pictures of it being spread on bagels. He's sick!!

Cammy: And I had sex with him......or so I've been told...

Chun-Li: Man, I can't get any goddamn peace. I guess I'll have to put that lock on my door. Either he'll go after family members or dairy products.

Cammy: Well, I got some interesting tidbits as far as Ken goes. Besides his usual trips to the no-tell-motel with his numerous partners, I overheard another conversation with Ryu.

Guy: Oh, man. This is gonna knock your socks off, Chun-Li!

Chun-Li: I'm not wearing socks. Hit me.

Cammy: Well, they spoke some English and I heard him say that he couldn't leave Eliza, he canceled his flight to China, and he said "I love you" in Japanese.

Chun-Li: Are you sure?

Cammy: Positive. I always knew they had something going on!! If this turns out, you owe me $50.

Chun-Li: They've always been very close. Maybe they just meant it in a friendly way.

Cammy: Ryu sounded rather feminine. Actually, he sounded like a complete faggot.

Chun-Li: No way!!! I have to see it to believe it. You're forgetting that I already won that bet by sleeping with Ryu in Street Fighter 2. (sticks her chest out and tosses her hair back) Who would go gay after THIS?

Cammy: (rolls her eyes) You didn't SLEEP with him. You shagged him. There was no sleeping involved.

Chun-Li: Not for 3 days afterward, honey, that puppy was at least 10 inches!!

Guy: There are minors in the room, Chun-Li.

Chun-Li: (turns to Ming) I have a filthy mouth. Get used to it. Do as I say, not as I do.

Cammy: I can see that's going to be her favorite phrase...

Chun-Li: Shut up. I'm going to check this Shadowloo site out for myself.

Guy: I'm going to Mrs. Pallatroni's house for some of her famous manicotti and to tell her that we found the source of the gun.

Cammy: I set up some radio equipment in my office. I'm going to try to pick up the signal for Ryu's cordless phone.

Ming: And I'll sit on my ass and watch TV.

**And sit on her ass she did, for a good 3 hours. Chun-Li continued to explore the website and she tried to order a gun to see if she could get it without any age verification or anything. Cammy shouted from her office.**

Cammy: Chun-Li!!!!!!!!!! Come quick!! I got something!!!

Chun-Li: (scrambles into Cammy's office) What is it??

Cammy: Listen!! (cranks the volume)

**Ryu is talking to Bison**

Ryu: So, you want me to take the Schmorgoff order?

Bison: Yea, we have to make room for some new crack shipments.

Ryu: I told you I don't want to do big deals out of my house. I only agreed to small stuff.

Bison: Show me some mercy, man! I'll send you 20 virgin men...

**Chun-Li and Cammy's jaws dropped**

Ryu: Ok, it's done. They have to be young, buff, and naughty.

Bison: Please, my rope-sucking friend, I'm the king of naughty.

Ryu: Oh, I know better than anyone else. Tell them to pick it up here.

Bison: I knew I could count on you, Ryu. Goodbye.

Ryu: Toodles!!

**The two "men" hung up**

Chun-Li: Toodles?

Cammy: I told you.

Chun-Li: It's bad enough that he's gay, but with BISON? That's fuckin sick!!

Ming: Ugh!! Was that the famous Ryu that won all the tournaments?

Chun-Li: Sadly, it was. Man, what am I going to do?

Cammy: Shhhhhh!!! It's ringing!!!

**Ryu called Ken and they started speaking in Japanese. Chun-Li translated the conversation for Cammy while Ming stood in the doorway and listened.**

Ryu: Ken, please come to China. I want you to share a house with me again.

Ken: You know I can't do that.

Ryu: Just leave her!! You cheat on her anyway.

Ken: Yeah, but I always like to come home and screw her too.

Ryu: Then make her move here with you. She'll never suspect.

Ken: I gotta go. Cammy White has been following me around and watching me. If she hears us....

Ryu: Cammy White? That little lesbian girl from the tournaments? What's she doing following you?

Ken: I gotta go. Eliza's here.

Ryu: I love you.

Ken: I love you, too, man.

**They hung up**

Chun-Li: I can't handle this.

Cammy: Looks like you owe me some money.

Chun-Li: I'll have to see this for myself. What was his number again?

**Chun-Li called Ryu at his home in the Himalayas. He was hesitant to answer, due to the name 'Damsels of Distress' on the caller ID. Eventually, he picked up.**

Ryu: Hello?

Chun-Li: Hi, Ryu.

Ryu: Who is this?

Chun-Li: It's Chun-Li Xiang from Street Fighter.

Ryu: How did you get this number?

Chun-Li: Nice greeting. I have my ways. Now, what's up with Bison?

Ryu: What do you mean?

Chun-Li: You know perfectly well what I mean.

Ryu: It's just a little extra money on the side.

Chun-Li: Ryu, buddy, my good pal, how much money would it take to give me some useful information to help me with a project I've been working on?

Ryu: Interpol is handing out bribes? What's this world coming to?

Chun-Li: I'm not with Interpol anymore. I work for myself. Now, what's he paying you?

Ryu: You know I'm not into material possessions.

Chun-Li: You have a phone and a house now, don't you? You can't bullshit a bullshitter. Hasn't your asshole friend taught you that?

Ryu: Leave Ken's asshole out of this. I'm not taking money.

Chun-Li: (cringes) Then what are you taking?

Ryu: There's only one thing in this world that I want that I don't already have.

Chun-Li: (grits her teeth) Street Fighters......grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......I hate how you people talk. What the hell do you want?

Ryu: Was I being vague? I'm sorry, it's a bad habit I picked up during the tournaments.

Chun-Li: W H A T D O Y O U F U C K I N G W A N T ???

Ryu: I want........Ken.

Chun-Li: That's it? You want Ken? What do you want him for? There are much more useful, practical things out there, like luxury cars, swimming pools, and gold chains.

Ryu: Ken or nothing.

Chun-Li: Ken it is.