*The next morning, Cammy arrived at the office bright and early. Chun-Li was there, on her 3rd cup of espresso.*
Chun-Li: Did you bring those muffins?"
Cammy: "Right here."
Chun-Li: "Good, I'm starving. Do you want some coffee? There's a whole gallon being made right now."
Cammy: "No thanks. I'm a tea person."
Chun-Li: "OK, more for me."
Cammy: "So, do we have any clients yet?"
Chun-Li: Not yet. Look, it's the buttcrack of dawn. Nobody is awake, let's go get your hair cut."
Cammy: "Are you high? Chun-Li, it's a little too early to be smoking the wacky......"
Chun-Li: "Cammy, your hair is down to your knees and I have a mop that's in better condition."
Cammy: "I can't afford something so stupid."
Chun-Li: "I'll pay. I can't stand to look at it anymore."
*Chun-Li brought Cammy to the beauty parlor. Cammy was NOT a happy camper. The look of death was plastered on her little face and she was not thrilled at the idea of other people touching her hair.*
Chun-Li: "Hi, Clara!! Here's my friend that I told you about."
Clara: "Oh, isn't she lovely!! CLAIRE!!! COME IN HERE!!
*Another woman came out to greet them. Clara and Claire were middle-aged sisters who owned the beauty parlor that Chun-Li frequented.*
Claire: Oh, my goodness!! She's so tiny and cute!!"
*Cammy glared at Chun-Li*
Clara: "Turn around, sweetie. I wanna see what we have to work with."
*Cammy turns*
Claire: "AAAAAAAHH! You've been walking around like that?!? Quickly, to the chair!!"
Chun-Li: "I'll be in the waiting room."
Cammy: "Don't leave me alone with these nutcases!!"
Chun-Li: "They may be fruity, but they are good hairdressers. I trust my hair to them"
Cammy: "If they try anything stupid, it will be YOUR blood on my fists!"
Chun-Li: "Just go."
*Clara and Claire frolicked around Cammy's chair shouting suggestions and ideas. Cammy was beginning to grow impatient.*
Clara: "A perm!!!"
Chun-Li: (from the waiting room) "CAMMY, JUST COUNT TO 10!"
Cammy: "One...."
Claire: "Banana curls down to the middle of her back!!"
Cammy: "Two......."
Clara: "No, no, no. A cute little Shirley Temple cut!!"
Cammy: "TEN!!! JUST CUT MY HAIR!!!! NO DYES, NO PERMS, NO BULL!!!"
Claire: "What a spunky little thing!"
*The eccentric hairdressers cut Cammy's hair to about two inches below her shoulders. They approached her with curlers.*
Cammy: "GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THOSE THINGS!!!"
Clara: "We're not doing anything bad. It's just so the ends curve under. No curls."
Cammy: "Fine....."
*The sisters turned Cammy away from the mirror and applied the dreaded curlers.*
Chun-Li: (appears from waiting room) "How's it going?"
Cammy: "I don't even know!" (grabs a hand mirror and looks at herself with the curlers in her hair.) "OH, BLOODY HELL!! I LOOK LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER!!! IS THIS RUBBSH ALMOST DONE?"
Claire: "Yes." (removes the curlers and brushes Cammy's hair)
Chun-Li: "Wow!! You clean up good!! You look almost as hot as me!! Well....not quite......but a lot better than before!!"
Cammy: "Bite me." (walks past Chun-Li and sits in the car.)
Chun-Li: "thanks, guys. You did a great job." (hands Clara $40)
*Chun-Li hopped into her jalopy and headed for the office.*
Cammy: "My head feels a lot lighter."
Chun-Li: "Well, it should. You lost about 3 feet of hair."
Cammy: "I miss it."
Chun-Li: "You look good. The girls will be lining up to date you."
Cammy: "I bloody hope so."
*They returned to the office and opened up. At about 11:00 AM, a medium height blond woman came in.*
Chun-Li: "Can I help......Eliza??"
Eliza: "Oh my gosh!!! Chun-Li?"
Chun-Li: "How are you? I haven't seen you in years!"
Eliza: "Oh, I'm fine. And you?"
Chun-Li: "I can't complain. what brings you here?"
Eliza: (takes a seat in front of Chun-Li's desk) "I don't know what else to do."
Chun-Li: "What is it?"
Eliza: "It's Ken. I hate to do this, but I need to know."
Chun-Li: "CAMMY!!"
*Cammy arrives from her mini office, where she was hanging her medals on the walls.*
Cammy: "Oh, goody!! A client!!"
Chun-Li: "This is Eliza."
Cammy: "Ken's Eliza??"
Eliza: "Yes, but I'm afraid he has several."
Chun-Li: "What are you getting at?"
Eliza: "Guys, I keep finding odd shades of lipstick on our wine glasses. I also keep finding phone numbers and he is always supposedly out with his friends. I think he may be cheating."
*Chun-Li and Cammy exchange looks*
Eliza: "I need you to find out. Money is no object."
Chun-Li: "No problem, we'll take your case."
*Chun-Li and Cammy know Ken. They know his lifestyle, which consists of prostitutes and young girls. Neither Cammy nor Chun-Li cared for Ken. Actually, they hate him. Now is their chance to get even with him."
Eliza: "Thank you, Chun-Li."
Chun-Li: "Don't sweat it. Cammy, could you get me a folder and a form for Eliza to fill out."
Cammy: "get it yourself, Gimpy."
Chun-Li: "Damn you!!! I just spent $40 on your hair and this is the thanks I get?"
Eliza: "It looks nice!"
Cammy: "Thank you."
*Chun-Li grabbed her cane and hobbled over to the file cabinet to get the form.*
Eliza: "Chun-Li, what happened?"
Chun-Li: "Oh, I busted my knee a couple of months back in a karate tournament. I'll be back in action in no time."
Eliza: "Oh, my!! I never thought I'd see the strongest woman in the world using a cane! Ken will never believe it!"
Chun-Li: "Don't tell Ken!! I don't want the street fighters to know. This is REALLY embarrassing for me."
Eliza: "Ok. My lips are sealed."
Cammy: "I wish I could say the same for Ken!!"
*Chun-Li and Cammy laughed. They looked at Eliza, who was not amused."
Cammy: "Sorry. Oh, come on, it was a good one!!"
Eliza: (smiles) "I'm glad I found you guys. I'm more comfortable with someone I know."
Chun-Li: (sits behind her desk) "Here, just fill out this form and we will get back to you when we find something."
*Guy walks in*
Chun-Li: "Hello, Guy!!"
Guy: "What is this? A Street Fighter reunion?"
Eliza: "Guy? Wow!! It's been at least 5 years!"
Guy: "You look great! Are you still with Ken?"
Eliza: (begins to cry) "Not for long......."
Guy: "What did I say?"
Chun-Li: "This is a really tough time for her."
Cammy: "She thinks Ken is cheating on her." (winks)
Guy: (tries not to laugh) "Oh, no!! God forbid!!"
Eliza: "There, I'm finished. I have to go before he comes home."
Chun-Li: "Remember to say nothing!!"
Eliza: "Your secret is safe with me."
*Eliza left. Guy sat down in her seat, while Cammy sat on the desk.*
Guy: "So, Cammy, what brings you here?"
Cammy: "I work here."
Guy: "Oh, I see."
Chun-Li: (realizes that she promised the job to Guy) "Oh!! Ummm.....Cammy just came here from the UK. She is down to her last cent, so I had to hire her. I'm sorry, Guy. Any investigation agency would take you."
Guy: "I know, but it would have been really cool working with you." (starts to give Chun-Li googly eyes....)
Cammy: "Get over it. Everybody in the goddamn Street Fighter tournaments has a crush on her."
Guy: "What are you talking about?"
Cammy: "Don't play stupid with me. I know when someone is undressing people with their eyes."
Guy: "You're just mad because I saw her first!!"
Cammy: "Oh my bloody god!! If my sexuality gets thrown in my face one more time, I'm going to snap!!!"
Chun-Li: "Keep bickering and I won't date either of you."
Guy: "She started it!!!"
Cammy: "Did not!!! No wonder you can't get a date!! You're pathetic!! Even Blaire Dame wouldn't sleep with your sorry ass!!! You're the one man in Street Fighter Chun-Li HASN'T screwed!"
Guy: "Who pissed in your cornflakes? All I was saying is that I wanted to work with my old friend."
Chun-Li: "And just for the record, I haven't slept with Birdie, Katana, Blanka, or Vega."
Cammy: "Hey, Guy!! Compared to the rest of the competition, you're not half bad!!"
Guy: "Those are the ONLY people besides me that you haven't screwed??"
Chun-Li: "Good girls never tell."
Cammy: "Yea, but what does that have to do with YOU??"
Chun-Li: "Ha ha. That's the second one today. You could be the next Ellen Degeneres!!"
Guy: "Look, girls. I'd love to stay and chat, but thanks to you, I have some job hunting to do."
Chun-Li: "Sorry...."
*Guy left, leaving his hat behind.*
Chun-Li: "Oh, he forgot his hat!!"
Cammy: "That's the oldest trick in the book. Now, he'll be back."
Chun-Li: "I'm sure he didn't mean it."
Cammy: "Of course he did. Come on, let's hit the strip clubs."
Chun-Li: "It's noon!!"
Cammy: "Chun-Li, this is Ken we're talking about. You can find him in a strip club during the apocalypse!!"
Chun-Li: "Quick!! To the Shit-mobile!!"