Cammy: This place is disgusting!!

Chun-Li: It's supposed to be disgusting, it's a sleazy strip club. Besides, isn't this where you spend your Saturday nights?

Cammy: I go to gay bars, not strip clubs.

Chun-Li: Well, if I know Ken, then he is here. You check the bathrooms and I'll ask around.

Cammy: I will not take sidekick jobs!! You check the bathroom!

Chun-Li: Fine, We'll search together, but it'll take twice as long.

*The two women set out into the crowd. There were all kinds of men from lawyers to homeless drunks, pimps to husbands. They were all there, surrounded by strippers, prostitutes, and gold diggers. Cammy was clad in a mix of Chun-Li's clothes and her own. Chun-Li had tightened Cammy's bra so that her breasts were nearly choking her. Chun-Li was armed with leather pants and a tank top so small, one wrong move would bust it. She was without her cane, so she was trying to keep her weight on her good knee. A tall, blonde, topless cocktail waitress approached them.*

Waitress: Chun-Li!!!! How the hell are ya???

Chun-Li: (embarrassed) I'm fine, Tanya, how are you?

Tanya (waitress): I'm great! I quit Smokey's a few months ago. Are you still dancing?

Chun-Li: (mortified) No. I went back to Interpol. Now, I'm a private investigator. This is my partner, Cammy White.

Tanya: Pleased to meet you (shakes Cammy's hand) Glad you made somethin of yourself. Hey-wanna do your policewoman act...for old times' sake?

Chun-Li: I can't. I hurt my leg.

Tanya: Oh, honey, that sucks! So, if you ain't here for a job, what are ya here for? Is it top secret?

Chun-Li: I'm looking for Ken Masters.

Tanya: What the hell do you want him for?

Chun-Li: Trust me, it's business, not pleasure.

Tanya: Last time I saw him, he was in the corner, near the stage. If he hasn't gotten kicked out yet, he should still be there.

Chun-Li: Thanx, nice to see you.

Tanya: Same here, don't be a stranger! (walks away)

Cammy: (bursts out laughing) You will NEVER live this down!! A STRIPPER!!!! This is absolutely priceless!

Chun-Li: I still have two arms and a leg. Don't get brave.

*The dynamic duo headed toward the corner that Tanya had pointed out. They spotted a dirty, unshaven Ken Masters shoving $5 bills into a stripper's thong.*

Chun-Li: Get up!

Ken: Well well well, if it isn't the megabitch and company! How have you been, you waste of a good body?

Chun-Li: I'm just dandy. Wish I could say the same for your wife...

Ken: (ducks down) Where is she?

Cammy: Get up, ass munch! Your wife is at home crying.

Ken: Don't scare me like that. What the hell do you want, anyway?

Chun-Li: We are private investigators and your wife hired us to find out if you're cheating. Our psychic intuition told us that you might be here.

Ken: How much money do you want?

Cammy: MONEY???? Your marriage going to shambles is enough gratification for me.

Chun-Li: Hold on, Cammy. Maybe we could settle this...

Cammy: Chun-Li!!!! Don't be stupid. This is our first mission, let's do it right.

Chun-Li: Think about it. He will owe us a HUGE favor if we cover for him.

Cammy: Think about it. He will skip out and we'll never see him again.

Ken: Look, I love my wife. I will do anything if you will just forget about this. Please...

Cammy: I don't trust you. (whips the camera out and takes a picture, making sure to get the strippers in the picture)

Ken: HEY!!!!!

Chun-Li: Ken, we'll be keeping an eye on you. I KNOW you can't go more than a day without extra-marital relations, so with the evidence to hold against you, going back on this agreement is not an option. Eliza is a nice girl and we won't hesitate to expose you.

Ken: I hate you.

Chun-Li: Right back at ya. Remember, when we want something, you'll be there no questions asked.

Ken: yeah yeah. Beat it. The sight of you two is making me nautious.

Cammy: Gladly. the smell of this place is revolting.

Chun-Li: Peace out, Kenneth. And for the love of god, SHAVE!!!

*Just as they were leaving, a shot rang out near the stage. Cammy and Chun-Li rushed to see what had happened. When they got to the stage, a familiar face lay in a pool of her own blood. It was none other than Rose.*

Cammy: Call an ambulance!

Chun-Li: (checks her pulse) She's dead.

Cammy: Call the coroner!

Chun-Li: (examines Rose's body) The bullet hit her square in the forehead, but on an angle. The shot came from the rafters. She was targeted.

Cammy: Since when is Rose a stripper?

Chun-Li: That's not relevant! Just look at the bullet hole.

Cammy: Well, judging by the diameter and cleanliness, it was a sniper rifle. I can't say what model unless I see the bullet.

Chun-Li: Even if I found it, I would be tampering with evidence. Snipers are illegal, so we'll never find the owner. Let's go before the cops get here.

*Cammy and Chun-Li escaped through the bathroom window and went back to the agency to finish unpacking. They opened the door to find Guy sitting behind the desk*

Cammy: How the hell did you get in here?

Guy: magic.

Chun-Li: So, why do you feel the need to break into my office?

Guy: I left my hat here.

Cammy: Bulls--t.

Guy: So, were you digging up the dirt on Ken?

Chun-Li: We made a deal. He owes us one, but we're getting some more evidence to be sure he makes good on his promise.

Guy: You know, I was thinking...if I could get a little cubicle divider, I could turn that corner into an office...

Chun-Li: I don't think so, Guy.

Guy: PLEASE!!!! I'll take one case and you can decide if you want me.

Cammy: NO!!! It's bad enough I have to work with this bitch! I don't need two people poking fun at my sexuality.

Chun-Li: Fine. It sounds fair.


Guy: I'll check back soon to take my mission.

*Guy left, taking his hat with him. Chun-Li and Cammy stayed and finished unpacking. They went home and tried to think of a name for their agency.*