Int. Apartment
Megachill: Wow...Kazuya Mishima.....
(Megachill and Kazuya are sitting next to a window. Kazuya is wearing his purple tuxedo, the aptly-named "pimpsuit")
Megachill: There's so much I want to talk about...
Kazuya: Get this damn thing over with.
Megachill: Ahem, right. Kazuya...what happened at the King of Iron Fist Tournament 4?
Kazuya:...oh God, is Jin paying you to ask me that?
Megachill: What? No!
Kazuya: *Sigh*...I made it all the way to the finals to face Heihachi...in a diaper thong....
Megachill:Yeah I know that...what happened then?
Kazuya: I lost. You saw it on TV!
Megachill: No, no, what I want to know is what happened AFTER you lost.
Kazuya: He took me to his private dojo in Honmaru where Jin was chained up, at which point I threw Heihachi aside and freed Jin...
Megachill:.....
Kazuya: And then HE beat up too!
Megachill: Sheesh. I guess it wasn't your day.
Kazuya: When I came to, I was surrounded by Jacks. Seeing that I was outnumbered, I did the most humane thing....I threw Heihachi into the mob and ran away.
Megachill: You ran away?
Kazuya: You have a problem with that?
Megachill: No not at all.
Kazuya: Well I'm going to make those traitors pay this time. I'm going to-
Megachill:-sodomize them?
Kazuya: What? That's disgusting. Where did you come up with that idea?
Megachill: Just a guess...
Megachill(narrative): Finally, a guy from Tekken who does NOT talk about sodomy!
Kazuya: I'm going to tear those bastards apart!
Megachill: Well that's GRRRRRRRREAT!!!
Kazuya: What the hell was that?
Megachill: Sorry, I couldn't help myself. What's the deal with that red glowing left eye you have? You should see an optometrist for that.
Kazuya: I have it because I'm partially possessed by a demon. It allows my skin to turn purple and grow wings and horns...and a tail.
Megachill: Awesome.
Kazuya: Yeah...barring the fact that I lose control whenever I transform.
Megachill: Would you say it...brings out the tiger in you?
Kazuya: Are you being paid by Kellogg's to advertise Frosted Flakes?
Megachill:.....yes.
Kazuya: Well cut it out, it's annoying me.
Megachill: Hey what's with all the scars on your face?
Kazuya: Let's see how well you fare after getting thrown into a volcano.
Megachill: All right, one more question...how are you dealing with it?
Kazuya: Dealing with what?
Megachill: Jun's death. I mean...you two DID conceive a child.
Kazuya: My depression over my Jun's death is none of your concern, brat!
Megachill: It hurts, I'm sure. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist...
Kazuya: There's not a psychiatrist in this hemisphere that can relate to what I've been through...
Megachill: You just have to take charge of your life...super-charge...
Kazuya: All right, that's it. I warned you.
(Kazuya opens the window and throws Megachill out from it.)
Megachill(narrative): Luckily for me, a puppy broke my fall. Too bad that puppy only broke its neck...