Int. Apartment

Megachill: Wow...Kazuya Mishima.....

(Megachill and Kazuya are sitting next to a window. Kazuya is wearing his purple tuxedo, the aptly-named "pimpsuit")

Megachill: There's so much I want to talk about...

Kazuya: Get this damn thing over with.

Megachill: Ahem, right. Kazuya...what happened at the King of Iron Fist Tournament 4?

Kazuya:...oh God, is Jin paying you to ask me that?

Megachill: What? No!

Kazuya: *Sigh*...I made it all the way to the finals to face Heihachi...in a diaper thong....

Megachill:Yeah I know that...what happened then?

Kazuya: I lost. You saw it on TV!

Megachill: No, no, what I want to know is what happened AFTER you lost.

Kazuya: He took me to his private dojo in Honmaru where Jin was chained up, at which point I threw Heihachi aside and freed Jin...

Megachill:.....

Kazuya: And then HE beat up too!

Megachill: Sheesh. I guess it wasn't your day.

Kazuya: When I came to, I was surrounded by Jacks. Seeing that I was outnumbered, I did the most humane thing....I threw Heihachi into the mob and ran away.

Megachill: You ran away?

Kazuya: You have a problem with that?

Megachill: No not at all.

Kazuya: Well I'm going to make those traitors pay this time. I'm going to-

Megachill:-sodomize them?

Kazuya: What? That's disgusting. Where did you come up with that idea?

Megachill: Just a guess...

Megachill(narrative): Finally, a guy from Tekken who does NOT talk about sodomy!

Kazuya: I'm going to tear those bastards apart!

Megachill: Well that's GRRRRRRRREAT!!!

Kazuya: What the hell was that?

Megachill: Sorry, I couldn't help myself. What's the deal with that red glowing left eye you have? You should see an optometrist for that.

Kazuya: I have it because I'm partially possessed by a demon. It allows my skin to turn purple and grow wings and horns...and a tail.

Megachill: Awesome.

Kazuya: Yeah...barring the fact that I lose control whenever I transform.

Megachill: Would you say it...brings out the tiger in you?

Kazuya: Are you being paid by Kellogg's to advertise Frosted Flakes?

Megachill:.....yes.

Kazuya: Well cut it out, it's annoying me.

Megachill: Hey what's with all the scars on your face?

Kazuya: Let's see how well you fare after getting thrown into a volcano.

Megachill: All right, one more question...how are you dealing with it?

Kazuya: Dealing with what?

Megachill: Jun's death. I mean...you two DID conceive a child.

Kazuya: My depression over my Jun's death is none of your concern, brat!

Megachill: It hurts, I'm sure. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist...

Kazuya: There's not a psychiatrist in this hemisphere that can relate to what I've been through...

Megachill: You just have to take charge of your life...super-charge...

Kazuya: All right, that's it. I warned you.

(Kazuya opens the window and throws Megachill out from it.)

Megachill(narrative): Luckily for me, a puppy broke my fall. Too bad that puppy only broke its neck...