Dan's Disgusting Craving - Chapter 1

Over in Hawaii, there was a Street Fighter Beta Tournament (I made it up). The contestants were Sagat, Ryu, Ken, Alex, Dan, Bison, Balrog, Jack, Chun-Li, Garuda, Akuma, Vega… and… you know the rest.

Dan: “VEGA?! GOODY-GOODY! I WANT TO KISS MY CUTE VEGA! I’LL WEAR MY BEST PINK SUIT! HE WILL LIKE THE WAY I PIMPED MY CAR TO MATCH MY GI! MY VEGA LOVES PINK!”

At the tournament…..

Dan was registering himself to the tournament… wasn’t he?

Dan: “OH MY GOD! VEGA! Where is Vega?!”

Person at sign-up desk: “Umm… he’s in his room, putting his claws on.”

Dan: “Claws?! GOODY! MY DEAR VEGA IS GETTING READY FOR FOREPLAY!”

Person at sign-up desk: “…Huh…? Are you gay?”

Dan: “Duh! Don’t worry, because you’re black with no hair. I desire someone with white skin and blond hair.”

Person at sign-up desk: “WHAT?!!!!! RACIST!!!!! SECURITY!!!!!!! VEGA, GET IN HERE!!!!!! Black-hater.”

Then Vega dives in, clawing Dan.

Dan: “Ooohh…. Vega, that feels SOOOOOO Good! Keep going.. ugh! Oh, yeah!”

Vega: “COMO? I’m clawing you, estupido.”

Yes. Dan was dripping with blood all over the place. Dan was merely grinning, even though his skin was practically off his own face.

Dan: “Come here, handsome! I’ve got something for you in my pants! You had a lot of things come out your handsome skinny butt, but how about IN your butt?”

Vega: *Blinks, jaw-dropped* “Err… gracias no. Gotta run. Hasta La Vista!!!!”

Vega was running out of the building, Dan running after him.

Dan: “HEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!! COME BACK!!! COME BACK HERE, MY VEGA!!! I KNOW YOU WANT ME!!!!”

Vega: “AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Dan and Vega turned a corner, but as soon as Dan looked, he found that Vega was gone.

Dan: *Singsong-like* “Ooooooohhhhh, Vega!!!!!!”

Dan was running and running. Then he saw a lady(?) sitting on a bench, reading a newspaper upside-down.

Dan: “Excuse me, Miss. I’m looking for a handsome blond guy with a mask and claws who passed this area. Did you know where he went?”

Lady?: “He went THAT way.”

Dan: “Thank you, I……. Hey, wait a second….. I smell Vega……. YOU’RE VEGA UNDER THAT COSTUME!”

Vega: “Okay…. I have to…… AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Then Vega kept on running, yet so did Dan.

Dan: “COME HERE, CUTIE!!!!!!!”

Vega: “AAAARRRRRGHHHHH!!! WHAT DO YOU SEE IN ME, YOU FAG???!!!!!!!”

Dan: “A cute, yet shy person who loves PINK!!!!!!!”

Vega: “Only YOU like pink!!!! DAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

Then Dan rolled forward, and dived at Vega. HE CAUGHT HIM!!!!

Vega: “WHAT THE….. DDDDDAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!! GET OFF ME!!!!!!!!!!”

Dan was giving Vega a French kiss, then unzipped Vega’s fly and…

HEY, SHINGARUDA! LET’S JUST GET PAST THAT SCENE!

Oh. Sorry.

Then Dan lived happily ever after… for about five minutes, when Vega managed to escape.

*Barney theme* I hate you, you hate me, we hate each other so shoot me with a great big gun and a shot from me to you *BANG* Won't you say you hate me too?