The SuperBeast Chronicles 33

A large commotion was heard outside Mike's house. Furious, and seemingly well beyond reasoning with, Mike grabs a pair of shorts and heads outside.. He is greeted by 30 men, half naked and led by Dan. They quiet down once they see Mike.

Mike: Hibiki, get them off my fucking property. Or you take them off in pieces.

Dan: Wait wait wait wait wait! Just come to a class, and see how you feel about it! You might even learn a thing or two!

Mike sighs heavily.

Mike: If I come to a class, will you please leave me alone?

Dan's eyes widen as a smile comes across his face.

Dan: Oh yes! Yahooie!

Dan goes for a hug and is refused. His response is to dry hump Mike's leg. He shoves him away.

Mike: I'm not going in that back room.


The next day, Mike shows up in a tank top and shorts. There's a camera crew there. Mike is less than happy to be there.

Mike: What's with the cameras?

Dan: Oh, don't mind them! They're here for me.

Mike: Whatever. I'm gonna go warm up.

Dan: Sure thing, babe! Go do your thing!

Mike: Don't call me babe.

Mike bends over to stretch. He makes his hands in the shape of a diamond and spreads his feet out. He bends down and holds it. He gets up quickly to avoid the other students. He continues to warm up by stretching out his back. Dan addresses the camera crew.

Dan: Okay, get a good shot of me to the left with Mike in the background, ready when you guys are!

Cameraman: Okay, speed. Three, two, one...action!

Dan: Hello city of Izuna! Dan Hibiki here to tell you about the grand re-opening of Dan Hibiki's School of Saikyo Arts! Here you will learn about how to be a real warrior from none other than me, Dan Hibiki! And hey, look who else trains here! Izuna's favorite son, martial artist, and former Izuna Championship Wrestling champion Mike Stoselmo! He's warming up and ready for another great lesson in the art of Saikyo! So come on down today and get your first lesson free! But hurry up, space is limited! Yahoo!

Dan does his trademark arm up taunt and begins to develop tears in his eyes.


Cameraman: And cut! That was great!

Mike: Hey, why the fuck are you telling people I train here? I've never been in here until last night.

Dan: It's only for a little publicity, Mikey-moo. You understand.

Mike: Call me one more weird ass pet name, I'm drowning you in that dick cappuccino of a hot tub in the back.

Dan: Oh calm down, Mike. You will love it here! No girls allowed, and no distractions!

Mike: You're working my last nerve, Dan.

Dan: I'll work more than your last ner--

A loud explosion is heard outside, garnering the attention of Mike and Dan.

Dan: What was that?

Mike: I don't know. But come on!

Dan: But what about my commercial?


They hurry outside to see what's going on...